Akpors Again

Akpos: Bar man! Bring everyone drink cos wen am drinking, I want everyone to drink and enjoy. (bar man obeys)  Akpos :bar man! bring everyone goat meat cos wen am chewing, I want everyone to chew.
(bar man obeys).
People began to chant and celebrate him. Akpos! Akpos!
Akpos! Akpos!
Akpos : Bar man! Bring everyone their bill cos wen am paying, i want everyone to pay..


U go to club and pay 5k for gate fee, U come church dey drop N20 for offering as if GOD na Nigerian police… U get duplex for hell
U give ashawo wey spent one nyt for ur house 20k come give ur babe wey clean, sweep n wash ur clothes for a week 5k.. U get 4 bedroom flat for Devil’s estate in Hell.
U fit suck guy d**k but u cant remove mucos from a baby’s nose… Devil dey jealous ur sinful life.
U wear mini-skirt just to confuse Man of God every sunday.. U be shareholder for hell.
U always go to church just to look for gals… bros, U are in a joint partnership wt d devil.
U fit dance all night to kukere song for club but you cant move when praise is goin on in chrch abi…  Ur rank for hell pass I.G….


Wahala is
when you update a Status on facebook, saying:
Salary Tinz {Increased} and your Landlord
comment: “On Point” {House Rent Increase Also}
My brother if you no fit meet up, expect to travel
back to your Villa
2. Wahala is when a Mosquito lands on your Dad’s bald head and you hit his head
trying to kill the mosquito, my brother you must
show the evidence or else you are on your own.
3. Wahala is when your bike man is pinging while
driving, my brother heaven will be your final
5. Wahala is when your Dad work with NEPA, when the NEPA took the light when
watching movie you mistakenly said: God go
punish NEPA, my brother that one na your palava.
Expect your mum to help you pay your school fees
if not you are out of school.
6. Wahala is when you
update Sex Tinz on my mind on facebook, and you Dad comment Nice 1, my brother you are on your
own ooo…


Akpos dad invited their neighbour for dinner
At the dinner, Akpos was ordered to
lead in prayer…
AKPOS- But i dont know how to pray …
DAD- Just pray for your family
members, friends and
neighbours, the poor, etc
AKPOS- “Dear Lord” (he started)
“Thank u for our visitors and their
children, who finished all my cookies and ice cream. Bless them
so they wont come again. Forgive
our neighbour’s son, who removed
my sister’s clothes and wrestled
with her on her bed. This coming
Christmas, please santa to send clothes to all those poor naked ladies on my
daddy’s blackberry and provide
shelter for the homeless men who
use mom’s room when daddy is
at work.. AMEN
Dinner was closed


AKPORS is the Boss in the Office. Lets see how
he is interviewing people.
AKPORS: There are 500
bricks on a plane. You drop one outside. How
many are left?
Applicant: That’s easy, 499 AKPORS: What are the three steps to put an
elephant into a fridge?
Applicant: Open the fridge.
Put the elephant in.
Close the fridge.
AKPORS: What are the four steps to put a deer into the fridge?
Applicant: Open the fridge.
Take the elephant out.
Put the deer in.
Close the fridge.
AKPORS: It’s lion’s birthday, all the animals are there except one, why?
Applicant: Because the deer is in the fridge.
AKPORS: How does an old woman cross a
swamp filled with crocodiles?
Applicant: She just crosses it because the
crocodiles are at the lion’s birthday. A
KPORS: Last question. In the end the old lady
still died. Why?
Applicant: Er….I guess she drowned?
AKPORS: No! She was hit by the brick. You
may leave now.


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